Show me the money!

New Scientist 22nd December 2007
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David Brill

THREE years at university may have left your finances firmly in the red. If you are considering furthering your education, the thought of accumulating yet more debt can be a frightening prospect. But before you surrender your soul to the devil, it's worth considering that in 2006, the UK had 545,370 registered postgraduate students who, more than likely, obtained funding through more traditional routes.

"I find there's a lot of pessimism where there's no need for pessimism," says Duncan Connors, general secretary of the National Postgraduate Committee (NPC), an independent charity that represents postgraduate students. "Science and technology in particular has a lot of money and as long as you have a good undergraduate degree, you're realistic and you play the game, you'll get funding."

Take on the competition

The British government invests £2.8 billion in research each year - enough to buy roughly 6 billion Petri dishes. This money is passed to seven councils that disseminate it to the nation's research institutions. "We allocate funding through a highly competitive process," explains Ian Lyne, head of postgraduate training at the Biotechnology and Biological Sciences Research Council (BBSRC). "If a department holds our funding it's a hallmark of quality."

To get your postgraduate paws on some of that money, students must approach a well-funded department directly - along with all the other hopefuls. In 2006/2007 the School of Mathematics at the University of Manchester enrolled 39 PhD students out of nearly 150 applicants. "If you want funding it's very competitive," says Professor Paul Glendinning, head of the department. He advises students not to blow hot and cold. "Keep us in the loop with what you're doing. If we're met by silence at some point we're going to assume the person isn't interested any longer."

Do it for charity

Many postgraduate research positions are sponsored by charities. The Wellcome Trust, the UK's largest medical charity, recently promised an extra £137 million in four-year PhD programmes over the next nine years, so there's plenty of money floating around.

Charity funding carries different responsibilities and experiences from public funding, particularly if the money comes from a small organisation. "It's very much a community," says Selina Wray, whose PhD is funded by the Progressive Supranuclear Palsy Association. "You meet people who have a personal connection to the disease - this helps to maintain a focus on why you are doing the research. It makes you more determined to work hard." Wray says the biggest difference about being funded by a charity is the necessity for good communication. "People from the charity come along to conferences and are genuinely interested to hear about your work. It's important that the fund-raisers understand what is going on with their money," she explains.

Tick the right boxes

A bewildering array of grants and scholarships are available for further study in the UK. Often these have very specific requirements, and it's worth carrying out some research to see if you fit anyone's criteria. If you can demonstrate a special interest in weaving or woven textiles, for example, you could receive a £1500 donation from the Worshipful Company of Weavers; provide evidence that your course is relevant to the activities of the Milford Haven Port Authority and you could receive a £2000 scholarship from them. With a typical master's costing around £3000, these sums represent a significant potential contribution towards your studies.

Ask the boss

If you are already employed, consider taking the boss out for lunch and asking whether they'll fund your course. "Most businesses will want some assurances in return for their investment," says Simon Briault of the Federation of Small Businesses. "For example, a prospective student could have to agree terms which state that on successful completion they will stay in the business for a certain amount of time or pay back a certain percentage of the fee." Convince them you're worth investing in and you might find yourself a sponsor.

Hit the road

If the cost of studying in the UK is troubling you, then it might be time for a change of scenery. And where better to seek inspiration than the home of the Nobel prize? Higher education in Sweden is fully subsidised by the state, and even foreign students are entitled to study for free. What's more, with more than 450 master's courses taught entirely in English, you won't even have to learn a new language.

Be industrious

"I'd definitely encourage postgraduates to consider seeking industry sponsorship," says Claire McAleer, who is working towards an engineering doctorate at the University of Southampton. Funding for McAleer's studies comes largely from Rolls-Royce, where she spends much of her time working on ways to reduce the noise emitted by aircraft engines. "It's much more interactive than a typical PhD," she says. "You get to see how your research applies in an industrial context and how it's useful in the real world." Combining university education with industry placements can also give you valuable experience of the business world. "It opens a lot of doors for the future," says McAleer.

Get a loan

The prospect of more debt might bring you out in a sweat, but a career development loan (CDL) - offered by Barclays, the Royal Bank of Scotland and the Co-operative Bank - is an option to consider. You can borrow between £300 and £8000, and the Learning and Skills Council will pay the interest on the loan until a month after you have finished studying.

"If you are up to standard and can realistically do the course then yes, I would advise taking out a CDL," says Duncan Connors of the NPC, but he urges prospective students to think carefully. "I would not use a loan if you don't have a defined career outcome, because all that's going to happen is you'll get into thousands of pounds' worth of debt."

Don't be parted from work

If you've been gainfully employed since leaving university, you could be reluctant to reinstate beans on toast as your main meal of the day. Part-time courses offer a compromise, allowing students to earn while they study.

"I wanted to carry on studying but didn't want to leave my job," explains Carol Boags, a teaching lab manager at the University of East Anglia. She continued to work full-time, devoting evenings and weekends towards studying for an MSc with the Open University. Boags estimates that her studies took up some 20 hours a week which, she warns, is a commitment not to be taken lightly. "You've got to be dedicated and a good time-manager to take up distance learning," she says, "but it's a good experience and I would certainly recommend it."

And if all else fails...

"Think outside the box," says Alex Tew, who earned a cool million during his studies. Dreading the thought of university debt, Tew invented the Million Dollar Homepage, selling individual pixels on his website to advertisers for $1 each. "Within three or four weeks of launching the site I'd covered the average student debt," he says. "Most postgraduate students will have knowledge of a very specific area and probably some interesting insights into their own subject." Tew recommends using this inside information to make some money. "Get thinking about ideas and if you think you've got a good [moneyspinning] one, go and do it," he advises. "Look at Sergey Brin and Larry Page - they were IT postgraduates, and Google was born out of their research."


Top Tips

"Applicants need to be able to communicate and explain science to a lay person. We want our researchers to be ambassadors."
Ayesha Kahn, scientific liaison officer, Alzheimer's Society

"Get advice from people in your university department. It's very important to demystify the funding process."
Ian Lyne, head of postgraduate training at the BBSRC

"Postgraduates have got the analytical ability, basic probability and maths skills - so why not try online poker?"
Jerome Bradpiece won over £30,000 as a University of Oxford philosophy student


Case study: Going the extra mile

Sabine Bahn is director of the Centre for Neuropsychiatric Research at the University of Cambridge. The department has around £4 million of funds including a recent £2.5 million grant awarded by the Stanley Medical Research Institute, a US-based charity.

Despite such generous funding, much of which is for postgraduate studies, Bahn says the battle for research positions in her laboratory is very competitive. "I get up to 10 applications a week even without advertising. If I advertise I get hundreds."

When she's faced with so many candidates, it's enthusiasm that makes one applicant stand out from the rest, says Bahn. "I'm not so interested in their CVs to be quite honest," she admits. "They have to have read about what we've been doing and thought about it carefully. And most importantly, they have to have common sense and a clear idea about where they want to go."

"I like those who want to prove themselves and be given a chance," she says. True to her word, Bahn currently funds Yishai Levin who, despite having "mediocre" grades and no research background, spent the time and money to fly over from Israel to convince her in person that he could bring new skills to her team. "In such a large group I haven't got time to do too much hand-holding so I need people who are self-motivated and can think independently."


David Brill is a science and medicine journalist based in London

In a bad way: men's health in the papers

Press Gazette 3rd August 2007

This article, along with a commentary, was also reproduced by the Men's Health Forum

Statistics suggest men are in worse health than women - yet coverage of male health issues is a low priority in the national press. Medical journalist David Brill believes men deserve more column inches devoted to their well-being

I know three things. I know that I’m supposed to examine my testicles in the shower every now and then; I know that cranberry juice is good for my prostate, although I’m not sure exactly where that is or what it does; and I also know that high cholesterol is a bad thing.

Why, as a young, active, well-read man, is this the extent of my knowledge of men’s health?
The newspapers are full of Herceptin, IVF and HRT. Soaring abortion rates and teenage pregnancies make for regular headline material.

Yet statistics suggest that men have worse health than women. The average man in the UK is more likely to smoke, be obese, and to drink above the recommended alcohol intake than the average woman. He is three times more likely to commit suicide than his female counterpart, and can expect to die five years younger.

Faced with such gloomy figures, one might expect men’s health to receive more coverage than women’s. But a study of the Daily Mail’s health pages reveals a different picture.

The newspaper devotes significant coverage to health-related topics, and carries a dedicated weekly section. With such a large volume of articles, it was a natural candidate for a postgraduate research project to investigate the balance between newspaper coverage of men’s and women’s health issues.

Taking a yearly snapshot (mid-June to mid-July), around 900 health articles were published in the newspaper between 2001 and 2006. While most of these did not relate to either sex in particular, some 34 per cent dealt specifically with women’s health, compared with about 8 per cent for men’s health. Furthermore, men’s health stories were, on average, three pages further back in the newspaper than women’s.

'I don’t think that men get the attention they deserve on the health pages,' says Barbara Lantin, a freelance health writer who in 2006 was named Patient’s Association Health Journalist of the Year. 'A lot of stories are female-focused and men’s health seems to be rather marginalised.'

This is a sentiment apparently shared by many journalists, yet the issue of gender bias within media health coverage remains largely unexplored from an academic perspective.

But maybe journalists aren't to blame for this discrepancy. Do men actually want to read about their health? Men under the age of 45 make half as many visits to their GP as women.

Department of Health figures show that 13 times as many women as men participated in the first year of the National Chlamydia Screening Programme, despite the disease being equally prevalent in both sexes. Perhaps men are simply less interested in health issues than women.

'I think the perception is that the readership of health pages is female, and that wives, partners or mothers are the ones that tell their men-folk to go off and do healthy things,' explains Lantin.
'I suppose, therefore, that if you run men’s health stories you might expect it to be the women that read them and urge the men to look after their own health.'

This sentiment appears to be supported by my study of the Daily Mail. In 2002, the paper featured a four-page special on men’s health. Yet the target readership of this section becomes clear from the headline on a full-page article: "MOT your man: 15 health questions every woman should ask – it might save your partner’s life."

The coverage of men’s health in the national press is likely to be a changing picture. No obvious patterns emerged over the six-year study period, but Peter Baker, a former journalist and the director of the Men’s Health Forum – a charity that aims to improve awareness of men’s health issues – thinks that men’s health could be a subject in decline.

'Before the mid 1980s, when glossy men’s magazines came out, there was not much men’s health coverage. It probably peaked around ten years ago, with the arrival of Viagra,' he explains. 'Back then, it was quite new and there was an increasing demand for it. It’s not as new and sexy now. Publishers realised that sales were in writing about beer and sex, not health.

'One of the crucial issue is that men just don’t like asking for help about anything, or to be seen not to know the answer. And that includes health. I think that, broadly speaking, men are much more interested than we would imagine, but are just more private about it. I think newspapers are letting their readers down by not covering these issues more seriously and more substantially.'

No single paper can be considered representative of the whole national press, yet it is likely that the Daily Mail reflects a wider trend, where men’s health is given less priority than women’s. But surely it is just a matter of time until men demand to know more about their well-being. Maybe one day testicular cancer will grab the headlines, and I might just find out what my prostate does after all.

David Brill is assistant editor of Nature Clinical Practice Cardiovascular Medicine

Where have all the aspen gone?

Nature News 2nd October 2006
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David Brill talks to forestry expert Wayne Shepperd, at the Rocky Mountain Research Station at Fort Collins, Colorado, about the mysterious death of these trees in the western United States.

There have long been stories about decling aspen numbers, but you've now realised things have been much worse over the past few years. What is happening?

Aspen here in the western United States regenerate by sprouting from the root system of existing trees, rather than growing from seeds.

Please follow the article link to continue reading.

Mouse brain map is complete

Nature 27th September 2006
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David Brill

Gene expression database goes online

Three years, 21,000 genes and US$41 million after the Allen Brain Atlas was begun, it is finished. A three-dimensional map of gene expression in the mouse brain, the atlas is the most comprehensive study of its kind to date.

Please follow the article link to continue reading.

Socialites need more sleep

Nature News 18th September 2006
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David Brill

Flies with a busy social life take longer naps.

A hectic social life makes a fruitfly take longer naps, according to a new study. This seemingly simple finding could prove important in helping to understand why we sleep, and what effect socializing has on our brain circuitry.

Please follow the article link to continue reading.

First tree joins genome club

Nature News 11th September 2006
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David Brill

Poplar sequence could help to turn trees into better fuels.

The first tree genome has been published. Armed with this information about the black cottonwood poplar (Populus trichocarpa), researchers hope they will be able to make the tree a better source of renewable energy.

Please follow the article link to continue reading.

Neanderthal's last stand

Nature News 11th September 2006
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David Brill

Cave in Gibraltar may be most recent home of extinct species.

Gibraltar may have been the last refuge of the Neanderthals, according to the results of a six-year archaeological dig.

The findings, which show that Neanderthals lived alongside modern humans for thousands of years, bring fresh evidence to the debate on what happened to our evolutionary cousins, and whether modern humans drove them to extinction.

Please follow the article link to continue reading.

Overseas attractions

guardian.co.uk 30th August 2006
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High tuition fees are driving postgraduate students abroad where they can study in English for a fraction of the price, says David Brill

A rise in the numbers of UK masters students seeking cheaper courses in Sweden and the Netherlands has prompted the National Union of Students to call for more affordable courses at British universities.

So far, the numbers involved are a trickle compared to the nearly 367,000 British postgraduates in UK universities and the 45,800 European Union students who come to the UK for masters and other postgraduate courses. But the competition could spell trouble for UK universities, which have come to rely heavily on postgraduate fees from overseas students.

Sarah Harrison, 22, who earlier this year received a bachelor degree from the University of St Andrews, said the cost of studying for a masters in the UK had forced her to look elsewhere. Next week she begins a masters in international studies at the University of Uppsala in central Sweden.

"I was told it was going to cost about £13,000 altogether to come to King's College, London for the year. I just didn't have that money," she said. "I was always going to do a masters, but the funding has definitely pushed me out of the UK."

Founded in 1477, Uppsala is the oldest university in Scandinavia and one of the most highly respected. "The lecturers and professors are world class," added Ms Harrison, stressing that a qualification from Sweden was every bit as valuable as one from the UK.

For Kristina Lewis, the high cost of studying for a masters in conservation biology at Kent University - £8,000 - led her to Lund University in southern Sweden, where she is due to start a postgraduate degree in development and management.

The big draw to Sweden is that universities do not charge any fees. They also offer an impressive range of courses taught and assessed entirely in English. In the past 10 years, more than 130 British students have chosen Sweden as the place to further their studies, but with the average cost of a masters course in the UK now set at around £5,000, more British graduates could be tempted to head to Scandinavia.

It's a problem acknowledged by the NUS, which does not want financial considerations to force students' hands. "While some students make a pro-active choice to study abroad, NUS feels strongly that they should not be priced out of pursuing postgraduate studies in the UK," said Wes Streeting, the union's vice-president of education. "We firmly believe that UK postgraduate courses should be offered at an affordable rate."

Alec Forss, 25, recently returned from a year at Uppsala, having graduated from the University of Birmingham in 2003.

"I'm really surprised that more postgrads don't go abroad," he said. "All the books I read were in English and all the teaching was done in English, so the language simply isn't a problem. It was a really good experience - I'd recommend it to anyone."

Mr Forss, who had planned to stay at Birmingham for his masters, added: "It makes economic sense. There are no tuition fees in Sweden. You still have to pay living costs, but I calculated that the whole year was probably 50% cheaper."

University accommodation cost Mr Forss £250 a month, a price not dissimilar to that paid by students in the UK. At Uppsala, however, this monthly sum paid for a new room with en suite bathroom, television, free internet access and all bills.

Having experienced the Scandinavian education system first-hand, he said he was against tuition fees. "My girlfriend's from Finland and has just finished her studies. They get €450 (£300) a month as a free grant to study, for six years. Then they give you €200 on top of that as a loan if the €450 isn't enough. So I think that sums it up. They've got their priorities right there."

But Sweden is not the only option for students turned off by the postgraduate tuition fees in Britain. Masters courses in Holland start at €1,500 (£1,010) for the year, but many EU students are eligible for a €1,000 rebate. That could put the cost of a year's study at just £337, with average student living expenses between £450 and £650 a month, according to the Study in Holland website.

Holland is one of the most popular destinations for British students on the postgraduate exodus. Catriona Stirling, from Edinburgh, is about to undertake a course in international and comparative private law at the University of Groningen, which has accepted more than 300 British students in the past seven years.

Ms Stirling chose to study in Holland primarily to spend time abroad, rather than for economic reasons. "I wanted to do a masters and I thought it would be good to see another country as well," she said. "The lower cost is definitely a bonus though."

She went on: "Tuition fees are bad, generally, in terms of social mobility. Education - getting a good university degree and good qualifications - is very important. It's the number one thing that can help you get a better job, make more money and achieve more in life."

Sarah Harrison added: "A lot of other countries have an entirely different perspective on tuition and education to the UK. Over there it's given to you if you want to take the opportunity, whereas over here you only get the opportunity if you pay for it."

For more information, on studying in Sweden and Holland, see www.studyin.sweden.se and www.studyin.nl.

High flyers 'should do apprenticeships'

guardian.co.uk 25th August 2006
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David Brill

Students who earned good grades in maths and science at GCSE should consider taking apprenticeships rather than traditional academic career paths, a leading scientist has advised.

John Morton, the chief executive of the Engineering and Technology Board, warned that too many pupils were rushing into higher education without considering vocational options.

"This is not just a university numbers game. While we congratulate our students on their exam achievements, we urge pupils with an ability and interest in maths and science to seriously consider pursuing a vocational pathway via a paid advanced apprenticeship," he said.

Rather than following the traditional route to A-levels then university, students could join an apprenticeship program straight after their GCSEs, train to become an engineer, for example, and then study for a degree or a diploma while working.

"It's a route to an exciting career in science and engineering, and it's an area where there is strong demand," said Dr Morton. "Companies such as Network Rail, EDF Energy, Centrica and the National Grid are all crying out for higher quality technicians."

He also advised prospective applicants of the financial benefits that apprenticeships can bring. "Our research tells us that the average salary is around £31,000 for registered technicians," he said.

"It's skills that underpin your career rather than education and that's what people are willing to pay for. This is a real opportunity. I'm concerned that people may do other courses at universities which don't have the same career options available through apprenticeships."

Diane Garnham, chief executive of the Science Council, has also stressed the importance of proper career advice for GCSE science students. "Many young people and their parents see science as too difficult, too nerdy, too male and with poor earning potential," she said.

"We hardly ever see young scientist role models, let alone a young woman scientist. We have to show just how much science is used in all areas of society and the economy. And we must give young people decent careers advice and information on the opportunities open to them if they get a good start with science GCSEs and A levels."

Engineering is a field where Dr Morton was keen to highlight these opportunities, believing that the shortage of technicians was affecting the economy in this country.

"The government is doing quite a bit through the introduction of the engineering diploma. That comes in 2008 and we really need to make sure that people are aware of that as an opportunity," he said.

GCSE marking errors up by 13%

guardian.co.uk 23rd August 2006
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David Brill and agencies

Errors in GCSE marking rose by nearly 13% last year since 2003, it has been revealed.

With the latest set of results due tomorrow, many students will query their grades in the hope of achieving a better mark. Last year, a record 45,439 queries were submitted - a rise of 24% from 2003 - and 11,000 grades were changed.

"Exam boards must get their act together," said Sarah Teather, education spokeswoman for the Liberal Democrats, whose parliamentary questions revealed the scale of the problem. "Every summer, hard-working pupils have to endure newspapers and politicians saying exams are getting easier and belittling their achievements. The stress that increasing numbers of pupils endure after receiving the wrong grades goes unrecognized.

"Too many students are having to battle bureaucracy to correct mistakes made by exam boards."

The government has invested heavily in the exam-monitoring body the Qualifications and Curriculum Authority (QCA). Spending on the QCA has gone up by 70% since 2002/3, to £135m, while schools spend an extra £42m since that period on entering their students into exams.

"The government must justify the rising costs of the exam system, by demanding better performance from exam boards," Ms Teather said.

A QCA spokeswoman said: "The number of appeals remains a small proportion of the 26m papers taken every summer. Over £100m has been invested in making sure there are enough markers and examiners, who are rigorously trained and monitored, to improve the system."

Schools failing children in care, charity says

guardian.co.uk 23rd August 2006
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David Brill and agencies

The education system is failing to help children in care to break out of a "cycle of disadvantage", according to the children's charity Barnado's.

A survey of 66 young people who had spent much of their lives in care showed that just seven of them left school with five or more GCSEs at grade A* - C. Fewer than half were currently in training, employment or further education.

"The cycle of disadvantage that haunts these children as they grow up shows no sign of being broken as they enter adulthood," said Martin Narey, chief executive of Barnado's.

"Our report shows that many looked-after children have academic potential and the desire to work hard and would have liked to succeed in education, but the state, as a parent, fails them terribly. Dreadful GCSE results compound the disadvantages they face and commit them to unemployment and long term disadvantage."

The young people surveyed had attended an average of five schools; seven in the group had been to more than 10.

"My education broke down completely because of the number of moves I'd had," said Aravia Pavey, 16, who was placed in care when she was three. "At times, when the authorities decided to move me, it wasn't even to placements within the same area but to placements based in completely different towns. I never had the chance to settle.

"Whenever I moved schools I received no extra help with catching up. I didn't have a huge amount of back-up with my education all round."

School can be a difficult experience for "looked-after" children. Half the group said they had been bullied because they were in care. Forty-one had been excluded from school, for periods between one day and two years.

Some comparisons emerge from a separate poll, also commissioned by the charity, of 500 parents whose children took their GCSEs this year.

While 97% of parents said they praised their child when they did well at school, almost half of the care group said that they had never received such praise. Just four of the latter recalled ever being praised by a teacher.

A DfES spokesperson said: "We all recognise that children in care often underachieve significantly. That's why we will shortly be publishing a green paper which will include a wide package of reforms designed to improve their academic performance and their life chances.

The secret of happiness

guardian.co.uk 23rd August 2006
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The Open University has come top of the National Student Survey for the second year running. How does it keep its students so happy? David Brill investigates.

"Choosing the Open University was one of the best decisions I ever made," says Kieran-Lee Evans, who is studying for a BSc in psychology.

Today sees the OU top the National Student Survey for the second year in a row. What is their formula for student happiness?

"Fundamentally, it is because we are committed to meeting the needs of our students," explains Will Swann, director of students.

"We have a more demanding student body than many other universities do, because they're older, they're more experienced, and they expect high standards of service. The quality of teaching is enormously important to us."

The OU is dedicated to distance learning, using cassettes, TV and the internet as well as books. The quality of these teaching materials and the course contents appear to be big factors in the university's success.

"I find their learning programmes interesting, clear and concise," Mr Evans says. "They're focused, as well - there's not much room for error in their materials."

The OU has around 180,000 students, almost all part-time. Among the undergraduates, 70% balance their studies with a regular job. Mr Evans had a full-time job before he enrolled and had to decide whether to study full-time or part-time and continue his job.

"My family are all quite academic and went to conventional universities, so you'd imagine that I would have done so too," he says.

"I'd say that, in the past, a place without a good rating in the league tables was not even a university in my eyes. But my experience has changed the entire way I view education."

Having previously studied at the University of Wales Newport, Mr Evans considered going on to St George's in London. Instead he chose the OU, and his barely contained enthusiasm leaves little doubt that this was the right decision.

"I'd highly recommend a degree at the OU to anybody. I'm trying to get my mum to do one at the moment," he says.

Student support is another area in which the OU has something to teach other universities. "I think a lot of people who don't know the OU don't realise [how much] individual support we give our students," Mr Swann says.

"We have a growing number who drop out of conventional university after a year or two, finish their degree with us and tell us that the amount and quality of support they got from us was higher than the support they had [before]."

Mr Evans echoes those sentiments. His experience was that conventional university assignments and study programmes often lacked focus. "Many students just do what they're doing without any set direction or purpose. The OU tends to be quite specific about what you're looking at and why you're looking at it," he says.

The university is aware of the risk of complacency after winning the student satisfaction survey again. However, Mr Swann says: "It not only confirms the excellence of what we do but is also a spur to us to improve. There will be plenty of people chasing us."

"Over the next year we'll be putting an increasing emphasis on being student-centred. We already use the web extensively, but we'll be using it more to increase accessibility. We'll also be putting a lot of effort into making ourselves more accessible to students from widening participation groups."

Voiceless children get jokes

guardian.co.uk 23rd August 2006
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David Brill

Children who speak with computer aids are discovering the joys of joke-telling, thanks to new software that enables them to create their own puns.

The Standup (System To Augment Non-speakers' Dialogue Using Puns) project was developed by researchers at the Universities of Aberdeen, Dundee and Edinburgh. Eight young people at Corseford school, near Glasgow, tested the system over a 10-week period.

The software, which combines dictionaries, grammatical information and rules about the structure of puns, allows children to create their own jokes by discovering patterns in words and phrases.

"The children clearly enjoy these jokes and being able to engage in the practice of telling them," said Ruli Manurung, of the School of Informatics at Edinburgh University.

"After the sessions, they would get to choose what their favourite joke was and put it on their particular voice aid. We heard from the teachers that some of the children just kept telling them to all their friends, family and neighbours."

Current computerised speech aids enable basic communication but hinder fluency and spontaneity. They provide little scope for experimenting with words, in humorous or other ways.

"Many people who use communication aids tend to be passive communicators, responding to questions with one or two word answers," said Annalu Waller, at the University of Dundee school of computing.

"This research shows the importance of providing individuals with novel language. It has been wonderful to see young people with complex communication needs taking ownership of puns and using them to control their communication."

Creating Standup led its researchers to ponder why we find certain things funny. "We know very little about the science of humour and jokes. We've identified this small class of jokes, which are actually very simple [in structure], but then some of the ones Standup comes up with are quite puzzling," Mr Manurung said.

"What is the difference between a constant doughnut and a quick harm? One is a steady ring, the other is a ready sting," is one pun the programme generates, suggesting the technology may be in need of a little refinement.

Jimmy Carr has even been in touch with the researchers. "He was thinking of working our jokes into a show by having a man v machine competition," Mr Manurung said. What that says about the comedian remains a moot point.

· Standup will be demonstrated at a workshop at the University of Dundee school of computing on the weekend of August 25 and 26

Peace looms in battles of the carpet stain

guardian.co.uk 22nd August 2006
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Students should not be alarmed by the delayed introduction of mandatory rental deposit protection; help is available right now. David Brill reports

More than 1 million students will move into rented accommodation over the next six weeks, handing over vast sums of money in deposits.

Without financial protection, many students will be at the mercy of their landlords and, at the end of their leases, could find themselves charged £20 for a light bulb or hundreds of pounds for carpets that were stained before they moved in.

It will soon, however, be mandatory for all landlords to join a deposit protection scheme, whose introduction has been delayed from October this year until April 2007.

The new requirement - which will cover all short-hold tenancies within the private rented sector - may come too late for students starting in the new academic year but they have been assured that help is available in the meantime.

"There is no need for second and third year students to wait until mandatory deposit protection is in place, some time next year," said Lawrence Greenberg, chief executive of the Tenancy Deposit Scheme (TDS).

"Students can already take advantage of deposit protection and the no-cost, independent dispute resolution we provide."

As well as advising renters to use its deposit protection services, the TDS suggests they use only affiliated letting agents, who are also members of the industry's three professional bodies: Arla, the NAEA or Rics.

Over 1,300 letting offices now offer deposit protection but surveys suggest many tenants and landlords remain unfamiliar with the TDS, which was launched two years ago.

"Sometimes these disputes are found in favour of the landlord, sometimes the tenant, but in most cases we find merit on both sides," Mr Greenberg said. "The rate at which we have been adjudicating and apportioning deposit monies has risen sharply ... from under 200 cases for the whole of 2005 to well over 300 within the first six months of this year."

In one case, the TDS became involved when a landlord retained a tenant's entire deposit, of £1,525, citing damage to curtains, floors and the kitchen hob. Following investigation, £926 was returned to the tenant.

Rise in 'inadequate' childcare provision

guardian.co.uk 18th August 2006
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David Brill

The past year has seen a significant rise in the proportion of childcare centres that fail to keep children safe, according to the latest report from Ofsted.

The watchdog inspected 25,000 nurseries, creches and children's centres for this year's report, concluding that 4% were "inadequate" on health and safety grounds. Last year the figure was just 1%.

Out-of-school groups had the worst results, with 11% ranked in the lowest category by Oftsed, despite substantial recent government investment.

The authors of the report stressed that the rise in the proportion of schools judged inadequate was only the result of stricter guidelines, the bar having been raised on what counted as satisfactory care.

"Parents can be confident that the vast majority of childcare providers are meeting the national standards and providing good quality care and a safe and healthy environment for their children," said Dorian Bradley, Ofsted's early years director.

"However, there is still some way to go to ensure that every child in every setting is safe and sound, all day, every day. We will continue to monitor inadequate childcare providers closely and take enforcement action where necessary, to ensure that all children are kept safe and well-cared for."

Ofsted has acted in the past against unsafe childcare centres. In April this year, the Just Learning nursery in Cambourne, Cambridgeshire, was closed after a 10-month-old girl apparently died from choking on a piece of apple. The nursery had been previously investigated when a girl broke her arm there in 2004.

The latest Ofsted study was carried out between April 2005 and March this year, during which time Ofsted received almost 2,000 complaints about children's health and safety. Nearly half of the centres it inspected have been ordered to make improvements.

The Department for Education and Skills emphasised that cases of inadequate childcare remained unusual. "This report by Ofsted shows that the great majority of parents can be very confident that their children are kept safe and healthy in their chosen childcare setting," a spokesman said.

"The report shows that the additional significant investment this government has put into childcare and early years services is paying off by giving children access to high-quality care."

He said such access would "increase further when significant additional investment is made, for example in extended school provision: £160m has been invested so far in extended schools with £680m to come over the next two years."

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The following correction was published in the Guardian's Corrections and clarifications column Saturday August 26 2006

In the article below we state that in April this year the Just Learning nursery in Cambourne, Cambridgeshire, was closed after a 10-month-old girl died, apparently from choking on a piece of apple. In fact, the nursery was reopened after about three weeks. Ofsted said a number of actions were agreed and satisfactorily completed and the nursery remained qualified for registration. The inspectorate said it had also investigated an incident in 2004 and was satisfied that the nursery had taken appropriate steps, including staff training.

Making the grade

guardian.co.uk 18th August 2006
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After an agonising wait for A-level results and the first, hectic day of Clearing, most applicants had a place on a course. Alexandra Smith and Jess Goodman report. Additional reporting by David Brill

In the early hours of Thursday morning, while the rest of England was sleeping, anxious teenagers were perched in front of computers, frantically scouring the internet.

A busy period for the jittery teens, according to EducationGuardian.co.uk's records, was just past the witching hour. Students by the thousands were apparently whiling away the early hours until they received their A-level results searching the website's Clearing listings service.

Yesterday's record high A-level grades mean fewer places are on offer during the mad annual Clearing scramble, especially at the most popular institutions, according to the University and Colleges Admission Service (Ucas).

After a frantic day in Clearing rooms, after phone lines opened at 8am, Ucas reported that there were 37,398 courses with at least one vacancy left. There were more than 96,000 candidates eligible for Clearing and, by 4pm yesterday, more than 61% of university applicants had confirmed which course they would be studying and where.

That was a slight increase compared to day one of Clearing last year, but it will bring little joy to universities because overall applications have decreased this year, down to 294,576 from 301,230 last year.

The Ucas online vacancy search service had registered more than 500,000 inquiries by 4pm, and the number of hits on the EducationGuardian.co.uk listing service - which lists vacancies by subject, region or institution, updated throughout the day - had reached almost 79,000.

Enquiries by EducationGuardian.co.uk to a selection of universities show a range of Clearing vacancies were up for grabs in the lead-up to the first year that universities in England will charge as much as £3,000 in top-up fees. Nottingham, Surrey, Birmingham, Oxford Brookes and City Universities each had about 200 places when Clearing opened yesterday.

Teenagers were not only using the internet to search for Clearing vacancies. For the first time, some sixth-formers bypassed the nailbiting wait at the schoolgates and collected their results online.

In a pilot scheme by Britain's biggest exam board, Edexcel, 200 students in the West Midlands and Wiltshire were able to use the Results Plus service to obtain their grades from 6.30am today.

Sundeep Johal, from Sutton Coldfield College, found she had received a B in English Literature at 7am yesterday but, with another B in media studies and an A in sociology, had to wait three hours before she had a deferred place in Birmingham University confirmed.

Sundeep said: "It was exciting to be one of the first to do it. But I think I preferred getting my results the normal way. You go in with your friends who you've been working with for two years, so it's more memorable and special if you are all together."

Sian Brunt, however, who learned of her A in drama studies through the new system, could see the benefits. She said: "Although I liked being with my friends to get the other results, I think for some people who are really worried it would be good to be able to see their grades at home first and then come and see everyone. It also means you don't get that big rush where everyone wants their results at the same time."

The online system, which will also be available to 1,500 GCSE students next week, gives a complete breakdown of module results as well as a "gradeometer" to determine how close pupils were to certain grades. For 350 GCSE mathematics students, it will also allow them to see copies of their completed exam papers onscreen, with marks for each page.

The exam board hopes the service will soon become standard, streamlining university admissions and giving students and teachers more detailed information about exam performance.

Smooth operators

guardian.co.uk 17th August 2006
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David Brill visits the Clearing room at London's South Bank University, and finds the process is not nearly as chaotic as expected

With 30 people on the "front line", you might expect the Clearing room at London's South Bank University to resemble a scene from the trenches.

The phone lines opened at 8.30 this morning, braced for an anticipated barrage of 3,000 callers by the end of the day. By 11am, more than 300 students had been offered a place at the university.

"We've had calls coming in constantly. I've spoken to about 20 people today," said Chloe Beeby, one of the troops on the "second line". She is responsible for taking the applicants' details before passing them on to faculty academics for the decision on whether to offer them a place.

"A couple are really nervous students who've just got their results. I've had two girls who said 'keep me on hold as long as you can - I just don't want to get cut off'."

War references aside, Clearing is actually a surprisingly smooth process. With more than 100 people manning the phones, callers all receive their fair share of attention.

"It's been really calm - there's no sense of panic or disarray," explained Beth Jenkins, the director of marketing at the university. "It's very gratifying to be able to help the students."

It took Chris Peters just 10 minutes on the phone this morning to secure his place on a business studies course. He had received an offer from another university, but decided at the last minute that South Bank was actually the place for him. "The people were really helpful and quick. I got through very easily and can't wait to start," he said.

Chris admits that many of his fellow students have reservations about the Clearing process: "I was very apprehensive. I'd heard stories about how long it takes on the phone and I was worried that someone else would get my place. I'll tell people that it's nothing to worry about."

London South Bank offers Clearing places across many courses, particularly vocational options such as nursing, architecture and engineering. Law is also a popular choice for applicants. Rochelle Devonish was offered a place on the course through Clearing last year, having missed the grades for her first-choice universities.

"I was extremely panicky," she said, recalling her reaction to finding out her A-level results. "Just having the thought in your head that you might not go to university is extremely, extremely worrying. You worry about your future and where you're going. I calmed down a lot after I found out I'd been accepted."

The stress of the clearing process did not affect Rochelle's first year at South Bank, however. She became president of the law society, vice-president of the debating society, and even found time to join the chess club for a while.

After such an enjoyable year, she is keen to offer advice to students in a similar position to the one she once faced. "I'd definitely say to anyone who didn't get the grades they need that they should try Clearing. But do your research before you phone up a university.

"Most people who missed their place are in a state of panic, so don't be tempted just to take the first one that comes along. Find out about the university - what are its values, what is teaching support like, how good is the financial support and so on."

By midday, out of some 750 callers, over 300 had been offered a place. "The atmosphere's been pretty hectic," admits Chloe, in between phonecalls.

With so many calls, the remarkable thing about the Clearing process is just how easy and efficient the whole thing is. From the disappointment of missing their grades, hundreds of students across the country are being given the chance to fulfil their ambitions of going to university. And not a bunker in sight.

Students begin annual scramble for Clearing places

guardian.co.uk 17th August 2006
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Donald MacLeod. Additional reporting by David Brill and Jess Goodman.

The annual Clearing scramble for places at UK universities started as frantically as ever this morning with EducationGuardian.co.uk's listings service reporting activity from the early hours and admissions tutors fielding calls from 8am onwards.

Today's record A-level results mean fewer places on offer, especially at the most popular institutions, but there are still more than 37,000 vacancies according to the Universities and Colleges Admissions Service (Ucas).

Applications this year were slightly down after last year's rush to beat £3,000 tuition fees and many universities are under pressure to fill their quota of places. Everyone is waiting to see whether hard-pressed admissions officers will offer to cut course fees or offer extra bursaries to tempt candidates.

The president of Universities UK, Drummond Bone, admitted it was a "temptation" for institutions but said that universities would risk their long-term reputations by doing so.

Headteachers warned against students deciding their future on the basis of "Ryanair in reverse" pricing offers, but there is no evidence yet of young people battering their way to bursaries during Clearing.

Enquiries by EducationGuardian.co.uk show this year's Clearing is a game of two sectors - the most prestigious institutions are putting up the "no vacancies" sign quicker than in previous years but a number of universities are heavily dependent on the coming weeks to fill places, so there are plenty of chances for candidates who didn't get the grades they wanted today, provided they are prepared to be flexible.

Ucas said the percentage of students accepted on a university or college course has increased this year despite a reduction of 3.7% in the number of people applying - 55.9% of students have had their places confirmed compared to 54.7% at the same point last year.

When the results-day figures are released, it is expected that the number of acceptances will exceed 300,000 - almost 5,000 more than last year, which was a record year for Ucas, said a spokesman.

Anthony McClaran, the Ucas chief executive, commented: "New Ucas systems, together with working closely with the exam boards and admissions officers, have resulted in faster processing of the decisions taken by the universities and colleges ensuring that the majority of applicants will know their position on the day that they receive their exam results."

At the posh end of the market the London School of Economics, University College London, St Andrews and Bristol - not to mention Oxbridge - have no places and there is no point in trying to squeeze into a medical school at this stage.

For the first time, Edinburgh, which takes about 4,000 students a year, filled all courses before Clearing started, including subjects that are harder to fill like engineering and modern languages. This may reflect the attractions for England-based students of paying lower tuition fees in Scotland as Edinburgh traditionally attracts a large contingent from south of the border.

Warwick expects to offer a few dozen places through Clearing in engineering, biological sciences, computer sciences and early childhood studies. Nottingham has about 200 to 300 places (compared with 400 last year), again in engineering and science subjects. Surrey has about 200 places across 42 courses (fewer than last year, which was about 300).

York has 15 courses in Clearing, including history of art, language and linguistics, engineering, and biology. Birmingham has approximately 200 places, very similar to last year, mostly in sciences and engineering.

City University has around 275 places available this year - around 15% of total students - fewer that its usual 300-350 and comments that there are no signs yet of top-up fees having any impact.

But among the modern universities, Lincoln has places on most courses. In Bristol, the University of the West of England is expecting to recruit 500 students through Clearing (about 8% of its intake).

Oxford Brookes and Sheffield Hallam both have about 200 places, very similar to last year. In Scotland, where Clearing has been running for a week since the Highers results the University of Paisley reports limited vacancies in engineering and science, computing, media, business and social sciences, while Glasgow Caledonian said it has now filled most courses.

In Wales, where students do not face top-up fees, the University of Wales Institute Cardiff has about 450 places compared to 550 last year, and Lampeter about 40 places, the same as last year.

The University of Central England, in Birmingham, has 600 (15%) places available through Clearing, 15 more than last year. "In the interests of equity towards students who applied earlier in the cycle we will not alter our bursary or tuition fee policy for Clearing applicants," said a spokesperson.

Halal hotpot goes down a treat in Bradford schools

guardian.co.uk 15th August 2006
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David Brill

Muslim schoolchildren in Bradford can finally tuck into a Lancashire hotpot for lunch after eight classic English dishes have been reinvented to include halal meat.

The move follows complaints from Muslim children in the city disgruntled with the lack of variation in their school menus.

"Part of our independent research showed a strong, clear message that the next generation of Muslims was looking for western dishes, but that were still halal," said Roger Sheard, the operations manager at Education Contract Services (ECS), the school caterer for Bradford council.

ECS has been serving halal alternatives on its menus for 20 years but has recently begun to rethink the nationality of the dishes it offers. "There was probably a perception from us that [the children] wanted traditional Asian curries, but that's not always the case. Abdul might want to sit next to Joe and have the same meal," Mr Sheard said.

The caterers conducted extensive research with both children and parents before launching a two-month trial across six primary schools in the area. The provisional menu featured such dishes as chicken pie, lasagne and lamb chilli.

"The response has been excellent," Mr Sheard said. "Only one of the dishes - the meat and potato pie - was not a favourite."

The new meals also meet the government's latest nutritional standards for school dinners, announced in May following the influential TV series by the celebrity chef Jamie Oliver condemning the quality of school catering. Gone from the menu are the infamous Turkey Twizzlers, replaced with high quality meat, fish and poultry. Pupils must also be served with at least two portions of fruit or vegetables with every meal.

The government has committed £220m towards rebuilding school kitchens and improving the quality of lunches. "The money's there, and it's up to schools and local authorities to use it," said Alan Johnson, the education secretary, in May.

Following the success of the halal hotpot trial, it is likely to be extended to other schools across Bradford in September.

The science of gambling

Firstscience.com 24th August 2006
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David Brill looks at the psychological, biological and social factors that drive people to gamble.

Gutshot is London's first dedicated poker club and now the biggest of its kind in Europe. In a little over two years it has acquired some 15,000 members, expanding from a few tables in a dingy basement to take over the spacious bar complex next door. The success of Gutshot is symptomatic of a wider trend - and it's not just poker that is on the rise: gambling is everywhere and spreading fast. Britain is on the verge of opening its first 'super-casino', in addition to over 130 existing casinos. Fruit machines, blackjack, roulette - even bingo is becoming more popular.

So why do people gamble? What makes it so enjoyable? Why do some people become addicted while others simply enjoy a flutter on the horses every now and then? And could drug therapy be the answer to problem gambling?

John Ioannou is the card room manager at Gutshot. With a firsthand experience of gambling, Ioannou understands the emotion that accompanies success at the poker table. "The elation of winning, obviously, is great. It's a buzz you can't tell anybody about unless they've actually done it themselves. You're on cloud cuckoo land for a little while."

But losing also involves its fair share of emotion. Ioannou remembers feeling sick after losing up to £1,000 ($1,898) in one session. Gambling involves abandoning self-control and he says that even if a gambler limits the amount of money he will gamble, once at the poker club, his mindset often changes. "You go to the card-room, you do your 200 quid ($380), pull up another 200 quid, then another 200 quid. Now your mind's not straight, it's not as clear as when you left home", he says.

Gambling psychology

So what exactly is going on in a gambler's mind? Professor Peter Collins, director of the Centre for the Study of Gambling at Salford University, does research related to ethics and gambling, problem gambling and internet gambling. "Why people gamble is a good and puzzling question," he says. "On the face of it, it looks very strange that people should stand in front of machines and pour money into them, knowing that they're going to lose."

But gamblers don't seem to be thinking of the financial loss when they're in front of a slot machine - what draws people to gambling seems to be the thrill of playing and the hope of a big win. Collins says that if you asked a gambler how much he hoped to win and then offered him that money provided he didn't gamble, the gambler would refuse. Similarly, if you told him he could gamble but there would be no money involved, it would take the fun out of it and he wouldn't be interested.

Different forms of gambling each have their own appeal and someone who plays casino games gets a different kind of thrill from someone who buys lottery tickets. Collins says that the buzz experienced from playing a casino game is similar to the thrill of riding a rollercoaster. In contrast, buying a lottery ticket fuels a person's financial fantasy life. "I sometimes describe it as soft financial pornography," he says. "It spices up the fantasy of being suddenly and fantastically rich."

Neurobiology and problem gambling

Tax calculations suggest that 78% of the British population gambled at some point during 2005. Yet the rates of problem gambling in this country are relatively low, standing at less than 1% of the population. With such a discrepancy, the issue of pathological gambling has begun to move from the realm of sociology to neuroscience in an attempt to explain why some people find gambling so much more addictive than others.

Research in this field is being led by American researchers and at the Problem Gambling Clinic at the Yale University School of Medicine, scientists are studying the neurobiology of pathological gambling. Some of the work done by Dr Marc Potenza, an associate professor at the clinic, involves looking at the differences in brain activation between pathological gamblers and people who don't gamble. One study has already found that the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, an area of the brain involved in decision-making and impulse control, is less active in pathological gamblers."Less activation of this brain region is often found in individuals with impulsive aggression, and it's also been implicated in mood disorders," says Potenza.

Linking the condition to a specific region of the brain has raised the possibility of targeted drug therapies. The clinic has been involved in treatment trials, including the largest study published to date looking at the use of a drug called Nalmefene to treat pathological gambling.

Nalmefene is thought to act on brain circuits containing the chemical dopamine, which form a key component of the brain's natural reward system. Reducing activity in these brain cells should reduce the natural highs felt when gambling. "The drug was found to be superior to a placebo in terms of reducing gambling-related thoughts and behaviours," says Potenza.

Social factors at play?

Some, however, are less keen to label pathological gambling as a medical disorder. Dr. Scott Vrecko, a sociologist at the London School of Economics (LSE), stresses the importance of other factors: "If there are no casinos or opportunities to gamble in a city, that city is not going to have very many gambling problems. If the proportion of individuals involved in gambling rises, the number of people with gambling problems is going to rise too."

Vrecko is against the 'medicalisation' of different aspects of life and doesn't think that complex social problems like gambling have a strictly biological basis. "I think that we should be wary of moving too far towards primarily medical explanations," he explains.

The appeal of gambling is probably a complex interaction between biological, social and psychological factors. In the wake of the current gambling boom, particularly on the internet, only time will tell whether problem gambling becomes more prevalent, and whether drug treatments will prove a successful solution.

But one thing is for sure - the emotional highs and lows will always be a key part of the attraction of gambling. "I remember the first tournament I won," recalls Ioannou. "I thought I was the best poker player in the world. When we're winning we think we're great, but when we're losing we just can't understand why."

Genius-modified food: What's up Duck?

I, Science 8 June 2006
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Ever the food fanatic, David Brill went to find out what makes the Fat Duck the 'Best Restaurant in the World'.

"No food is intrinsically disgusting." This simple statement has driven chef Heston Blumenthal from kitchen to lab and back to kitchen, in a quest to discover what makes some foods taste good while others taste bad.

The results of his experimentation are on display at The Fat Duck in Bray, voted 'Best Restaurant in the World 2005' by Restaurant Magazine.

With such a reputation, entering through a little nondescript door to discover that the restaurant looks completely normal in every respect is somewhat disappointing. The true experience begins with opening the menu.

Imagine sitting down to the news that you are about to face a 16-course dinner, featuring salmon poached in liquorice with asparagus and pink grapefruit. That, of course, is after the mustard ice cream with red cabbage gazpacho. You can only hope desperately that the critics got it right, because it's going to be a long, torturous evening if they didn't.

Blumenthal's laboratory-based approach to cooking has been described as 'gastronomic alchemy'. Flavours are extracted and concentrated into small cubes of jelly, cooking times and temperatures are comprehensively tested to discover the perfect dish, while the psychological impact of colours and textures are never left unconsidered. He has lectured at Oxford University's Science Week and the Cheltenham Science Festival, while head chef Ashley Watts appeared on last year's Royal Institution Christmas Lectures.

And it doesn't take long to feel the science. The opening course is the Nitro-Green Tea and Lime Mousse, excitingly prepared at the tableside. Plum-sized blobs are squeezed from a canister of green paste and dropped into a bowl of liquid nitrogen, creating what must be the world's coldest meringue. It dissolves instantly in the mouth, leaving only its flavour behind.

Many courses would raise a smile from all but the most humourless of diners. Two anonymous-looking squares of jelly are placed in front of you: one deep purple, the other a pale yellow. "Beetroot and orange jelly," announces the waiter. "We recommend you start with the orange." Colour or f avour? Surely an irrelevant question when both must signify the same square. But not when you realise that the purple jelly is made from blood orange, and the yellow from pale beetroot - a course best enjoyed watching other people for their bemused reactions.

Snail porridge with Joselito ham and shaved fennel, sardine on toast sorbet, quail jelly with langoustine cream and parfait of foie gras - where else in the world do these dishes even exist?

All this from a man who left school with one A-level and became a photocopier salesman. Yet the truly remarkable thing is that his cookery is self-taught, limited only by his imagination.

Much of Blumenthal's experimentation has involved capturing flavours and experiences from his childhood. This is particularly evident in the desserts, one of which is simply a sherbet fountain; another a chocolate cake made with popping candy in the base (again, time well spent observing other diners). And of course the grand finale: the world-famous bacon and eggs ice cream.

Few would question the creativity, flair and dedication that has gone into making the food at The Fat Duck. But do these bizarre dishes actually taste good?

The answer can be given with a simple reflection on the experience as a whole. It shouldn't work, and you almost want it not to. But it does, and it's an incredible experience. I never thought that mustard ice cream would rank amongst my all-time nicest foods, or that pea puree and foie gras would be such a great combination. Never has a meal been so thoroughly entertaining from start to fi nish, particularly when it takes some three or four hours to complete.

Don't be fooled by the modest interior. The Fat Duck is a special place. The critics got it right after all.

Physics made Fun

I, Science 8 June 2006
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David Brill learns science with Superman.

"I don't need to know about no bleeping balls thrown off no bleeping cliffs." Thus spoke an anonymous physics student at the University of Minnesota, unwittingly providing the inspiration for James Kakalios, his professor, to write a book.

The Physics of Superheroes is the result. It represents a commendable attempt to make physics more interesting – a task that would surely see the Man of Steel himself quaking in his little red pants.

"One trick I've hit upon in teaching physics involves using examples culled from superhero comic books that correctly illustrate various applications of physical principles," explains Kakalios, frustrated with the "overly stylised" and "artificial" situations traditionally used by teachers.

The book follows a sensible, easy-to-navigate formula. Take a key principle of physics, then use a superhero to explain it. No balls, no cliffs. All the old school classics are represented: forces and motion, Newton's law of gravity, electromagnetism and thermodynamics. The book is intended to reach undergraduate physics level, and more daunting topics like quantum mechanics are also bravely tackled – in this case with the help of The Flash.

"What initial velocity would Superman need, lifting off the sidewalk, so that he would vertically rise 660 feet? Is Spider-Man's webbing strong enough to support his own weight as he swings in his parabolic trajectory?" You get the idea.

Hardened comic book fans may of course crave tenuous explanations for the wondrous feats they have read so much about. Helpfully, there is a brief history of the genre in the introduction for those of us who spent their childhoods outside. Yet suspension of reality is surely the very point of reading a comic book, and some enthusiasts may not appreciate attempts to justify the laws of the superhero world using those of our own.

The Physics of Superheroes is primarily a book for physics students, and as such it is thoroughly enjoyable. Those long nights poring over a GCSE revision guide would have been infinitely more entertaining had we learnt why Magneto becomes Electro when he runs. Imagine being stuck on a tricky exam question. Why recite your notes over and over in your head when you could just visualise a comic strip to jog your memory?

Teachers and lecturers would also do well to purchase this book. Science is perceived by many students as dull, lifeless and alienating, and is often dropped at the first possible opportunity. Physics particularly suffers from the 'boring' tag, and Kakalios should be roundly applauded for his imaginative attempt to liven it up. There is of course the potential for such ideas to be overly gimmicky, but the book does an excellent job of keeping the science intact. Traditional physics teachers will most likely scoff, but declining university applications and the closure of departments tell us that the pure sciences are in desperate need of fresh teaching approaches.

The aesthetics also make for an easy read. Plenty of examples are illustrated with relevant clippings from the comic strip in question, providing some light relief when the formulae are mounting up. The title fonts are also taken straight from comics and help to soften the educational blow.

Kakalios attempts to assert his coolness in the opening line of the book: "I was a comic book fan as a kid, but I abandoned the hobby in high school upon discovering girls." Yet some cringe-worthy moments are inevitable – he is, after all, a comic book loving physicist. Chapter titles such as "Not a dream! Not a hoax! Not an imaginary tale! Quantum mechanics" suggest that his voyage of female discovery may have been short-lived. The closing line: "Face front, true believer!" entirely counteracts the opening one, while the titling of the section "Ask Dr. K!" also made me squirm somewhat. Prospective authors take note: if you're going to write a book entitled The Physics of Superheroes, do not attempt to salvage any 'street cred'. Spell your surname in full, drop the exclamation marks and be proud of the geek within.

If you were wondering, to jump 660 feet, Superman would need to leave the ground with a velocity of 140 miles per hour. And yes, it is "entirely plausible" that Spider-Man can swing from building to building, stop a runaway train or weave a bullet-proof shield using his webs. Kaliakos has convinced me at least, that physics can actually be pretty cool.

Truth not out there

I, Science 8 June 2006
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MAY: Four years, £100,000, 10,000 interviews and 500 pages later, the Ministry of Defence has concluded that UFOs do not exist.

The top-secret study, code-named Project Condign, was commissioned to investigate sightings of alien spacecraft. It was completed in 2000 but has only just been released under the Freedom of Information Act.

"Evidence suggests that meteors� and possibly some other less-known effects, are responsible for some unidentified aerial phenomena," concludes the report.

"No evidence exists to suggest that the phenomena seen are hostile or under any type of control, other than that of natural physical forces."

The large number of UFO sightings has also been explained: "The close proximity of plasma related fields can adversely affect a vehicle or person," states the report.

"Local fields of this type have been medically proven to cause responses in the temporal lobes of the human brain. These result in the observer sustaining (and later describing and retaining) his or her own vivid, but mainly incorrect, description of what is experienced."

Many believers will remain skeptical at the report's conclusions. "The evidence that the earth is being visited by at least one extraterrestrial civilization is extensive," claims Dr. Steven Greer, director of the Center for the Study of Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence in the USA.

Gone with the Wind

I, Science 8 June 2006
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APRIL: Venezuelan scientists appear to have created flatulence-free beans.

The research, published in the Journal of the Science of Food and Agriculture, utilises a new fermentation technique. Beans produced in this way were also found to be more nutritious. "The implementation of processes which allow for nutritious and non-flatulence-producing beans to be obtained would be interesting," said Marisela Granito, head of the team at the Simon Bolivar University.

Certain compounds, such as soluble fibre and raffinose, are not digested until the large intestine, where the action of specialised bacteria gives rise to wind.

But the researchers found that adding Lactobacillus casei bacteria to the fermentation process reduces the amount of these compounds. The new beans also had higher levels of insoluble fibre, thought to aid the digestive system in removing toxins.

It could be some time before the beans are commercially available. Students concerned about excessive gas in the meantime should not worry. "Despite the obvious social concerns, there is no physiological harm from the flatulence caused by eating beans," explains Dr. Frankie Phillips, a spokeswoman for the British Dietetic Association.

"Oi, Flipper!"

I, Science 8 June 2006
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MAY: Dolphins seem to have specific names for each other, according to new research carried out in Florida.

The discovery gives a new insight into the animals' intelligence and social interactions. "Bottlenose dolphins are the only animals other than humans to have been shown to transmit identity information independent of the caller's voices," said researcher Dr. Vincent Janik, of the University of St. Andrews.

The group of dolphins has been closely studied for more than 30 years. Researchers had previously managed to isolate the signature whistles believed to be their names. They caught the animals in nets when they came near the shore, and played synthesized recordings of these sounds underwater.

They found that the dolphins generally ignored the 'names' of unknown animals, but responded strongly to those of family and associates.

"It is a very exciting discovery because it means that these animals have evolved the same abilities as humans," added Dr. Janik. "Now we know they have labels for each other like we do."

Sexy women - bad choice

I, Science 8 June 2006
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APRIL: The damaging effects of women on hearts, cars and credit cards are well documented. But it seems that men's ability to make important decisions may also be under threat.

A new study suggests that the mere sight of a pretty lady could be enough to wreak havoc on a man's judgement. Men with high levels of testosterone appear particularly susceptible.

"We all think we are rational beings, but our research suggests ... that people with high testosterone levels are very vulnerable to sexual cues. If they see sexual images they become impulsive," said Dr. Siegfried De Witte, one of the researchers at the University of Leuven, Belgium. The paper appeared in Proceedings of the Royal Society B.

176 heterosexual males were split into groups to play a game that involved making financial decisions. The groups were shown different images before playing the game.

Volunteers shown pictures of beautiful women, or asked to rate a new range of lingerie, fared poorly at the game, being more likely to accept low offers and unfair play.

Testosterone levels were also measured. Those with the highest levels performed worst on the test, suggesting that men's vulnerability to women may extend beyond their conscious control.

Conversely, it is not yet known whether the sight of attractive men can affect a woman's judgement. Rumours of a repeat study, where women must take critical decisions to match shoes with dresses and handbags, have not been confirmed.

Flu good to be true

I, Science 8 June 2006
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APRIL: A flu pandemic in the UK would peak in two or three months but be over in four, according to researchers at Imperial. The team modelled how the disease would spread, considering preventive measures such as treatment, school closures and travel restrictions.

"The modelling shows there is no single magic bullet which can control a flu pandemic, but that a combination of interventions could be highly effective� potentially saving many lives," said Professor Neil Ferguson.

School closures alone would have little impact, but could halve the number illnesses if combined with a wide antiviral drug program. Restricting travel would also have a beneficial effect.

The model, published in Nature, suggests that vaccines should be made available within two months of the start of the pandemic effectively reduce infection rates.

Pot-ential pain relief

I, Science 8 June 2006
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MAY: An extract from the cannabis plant provides effective pain relief after surgery, according to new research published in Anesthesiology.

"Pain after surgery continues to be a problem because many of the commonly used drugs are either ineffective or have too many side effects," said Dr Anita Holdcroft of Imperial, lead researcher on the team.

"These results show that cannabinoids are effective, and may lead to the development of a wider range of drugs to manage postoperative pain."

The drug, Cannador, was tested on 65 postoperative patients. As the dosage increased, pain intensity reportedly decreased. There were however some side effects, such as nausea, increased heart rate and an insatiable craving for Cheesy Wotsits.

Now you see it...

I, Science 8 June 2006
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MAY: Harry Potter's invisibility cloak may not be so far-fetched after all.

Two leading mathematicians have claimed that we may one day be able to make solid objects invisible to the naked eye. The theory relies on developing a cloaking material using superlenses, invented at Imperial College.

The team, led by Professor Graeme Milton at Utah University, calculated that when objects are placed near a superlens, the light reflecting off them could be cancelled out by light from the lens.

"Effectively, they are making a piece of space seem to disappear, at least as far as light is concerned," explained Professor Sir John Pendry of Imperial, pioneer of the superlens.

At this early stage the paper, published in the Proceedings of the Royal Society, refers only to cloaking specks of dust, although the authors do argue that larger objects could one day be possible. The effect only works at certain wavelengths of light however, and some objects could become just partially invisible.

Professor Pendry commented on the potential uses for the technology: "The secret is having the cloak itself be invisible and if you can do that cheaply and efficiently� it would be extremely valuable for stealth. Even if you could cloak a single frequency, it would be very useful. The military is extremely interested in this."

"We will do everything in our powers to prevent this technology from falling into muggle hands," said a spokesperson from the Ministry of Magic.